After proof reading, I hope my transparency isn't offensive to anyone and they hear my heart.
Well...did they get it? Who knows. I woke up this morning very discouraged, what I had planned was a 1 hour discussion, things we would do for the next few weeks. Give them some bible stories that we would discuss in the future and share with them that they would have ownership in the youth group.
What happened was that, they continually stayed confused on what I was trying to say. One hour turned into 2 hours of complete confusion.
It all boils down to one thing. My inability to speak the language. Will it ever come? Will it come before I cause any irreversible damage to any of the youth group?
I have prayed all week, for God to show me how I can make a difference in peoples lives. I see daily through the paper, news and other media how people are touching others. I so want to help people with their struggles, but always see my inability to grasp hold or where and how to do it.
I have heard over and over, it is your call that keeps you on the field. Yes I feel called, but what then, you just can go day to day saying " ye boy, I was called, God use me!” There has to be some kind of direction, some kind of confirmation on the field. When will that happen? One thing is for sure...Only God knows.
2 comments:
All I can say is you are not alone in your discouragement. Most of our missionary life has been a series of ups and downs. Just know that when you are really down, there is no place to go but up again. You are probably accomplishing a lot more than you think you are. We tend to judge ourselves much harder than our Lord and others do.
hey man, there was no offense and lots of heart in your post. i can really relate to your words, especially the "will [language] come before I cause any irreversible damage" part (and I'm wrapping up my second year). it seems to me that one day my language is soaring and the next day I'm getting laughed out of the room. maybe language is God's way of making sure his missionaries are positive that this Life is possible only by His Grace.
Whatever the case, i related and appreciated your post : thanks.
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